EuroBeery 2012: France v England, Ukraine v Sweden

EuroBeery 2012. It's all about this.

Group D: France v England

A clash that resonates through the centuries. Because even if it's only synchronised crochet, beating the French at something is a hundred times sweeter than victory over any other nation.

But, objectivity is key. Let's play up and play the game. I've had the pleasure of discovering bières at delightful brasseries that have redefined my understanding of French beer.

True. But let's cut the horseshit. Even Derbyshire could field their first eleven and beat the Frenchies. So let's leave it to the likes of Thornbridge, Buxton, Whim and Raw to stuff seven into the sac d'oignon. Specifically: Jaipur, Chiron, Wild Boar, Axe Edge, Armadillo, Black Christmas and Grey Ghost. France don't even get out of their penalty area.

Result: France 0 England 7

Group D: Ukraine v Sweden.

In the good/bad old days, I made a record of every beer I drank. As a fully anally-retentive scooper who thought nothing of forming a firm opinion about a beer after sniffing two ounces of it, such records often made it as far as the internet  or, at the very least, into a beer-stained notebook.

I know I've had a Ukrainian porter. I can see notes made about Ukrainian porters at tastings I attended. Or maybe I went to the loo and twenty tick-mad Ratebeerians burst the bottle? Maybe I wasn't listening and thought it was Polish? Maybe it was just one of those porters that is as ubiquitous in Central / Eastern Europe as brown twiggy beer is in England?

Whatever. With no positive proof of Ukrainian imbibation, Sweden need do little to secure the tie. They let Nils Oscar Rokporter muscle its way into the box and remind the baying crowd of what a robust porter tastes like.

Result: Ukraine 0 Sweden 1

Back to Group A tomorrow.


  1. 7-0 is a bit harsh. You seem to be dismissing their 2 very good strikers 3 Monts and Goudale plus if on form Jenlain can score against the best. 7-3 might be more accurate.

  2. But then the three London super-subs of Kernel/Fullers/Meantime come and score a hat-trick each.