Eight Kinds of Drunkenness
It's been some time since I delved into 'Merry-Go-Down', that essential reader for topers, so I thought I'd revisit it. An extract by Thomas Nashe caught my eye - in 'Pierce Penniless: His Supplication to the Devil' (1592), Nash identifies eight kinds of drunkenness:
1) Ape-drunke; one where the toper "leapes, and sings, and hollowes, and danceth for the heavens".
2) Lion-drunke; "He flings the pots about the house, calls his Hostesse whore, breakes the glasse windowes with his dagger, and is apt to quarrel with any man that speaks to him".
3) Swine drunke; the subject is "heavy, lumpish, and sleepie, and cries for a little more drinke, and a fewe more cloathes".
4) Sheepe drunk; a drinker "wise in his owne conceipt, when he cannot bring forth a right word".
5) Mawdlen drunke; "A fellow will weepe for kindness in the midst of his ale, and kisse you, saying; By God Captaine I love thee, goe thy waies thou dost not thinke so often of me as I do of thee, i would (if it pleased God) could I not love thee so well as I do, and then he puts his finger in his eie, and cries".
6) Martin drunke; "a man is drunke and drinkes himself sober ere he stirre".
7) Goate drunke; one who "hath no minde but on Lechery".
8) Fox drunke; "He is craftie drunke, as many of the Dutch men bee, will never bargaine but when they are drunke".
Rather than something to be revered, Nash warns the reader against the 'slavering brewery, that will make you have stinking breathes, and your bodies smell like Brewer's aprons". Yeah, right.
But I can identify myself lurking on that list several times over. Certainly I've been prone to swine-drunkenness in my time. And I know a few martin-drunk types, who may or may not actually be called Martin and must remain nameless for legal reasons.
Which kind of drunk are you? I'm sure you want to tell the world. We've probably all seen the photos on Facebook, anyway...
Incidentally, Thomas Nashe is credited with the first English usage of the word 'dildo', in his soft porn poem 'The Choice of Valentines'. >
1) Ape-drunke; one where the toper "leapes, and sings, and hollowes, and danceth for the heavens".
2) Lion-drunke; "He flings the pots about the house, calls his Hostesse whore, breakes the glasse windowes with his dagger, and is apt to quarrel with any man that speaks to him".
3) Swine drunke; the subject is "heavy, lumpish, and sleepie, and cries for a little more drinke, and a fewe more cloathes".
4) Sheepe drunk; a drinker "wise in his owne conceipt, when he cannot bring forth a right word".
5) Mawdlen drunke; "A fellow will weepe for kindness in the midst of his ale, and kisse you, saying; By God Captaine I love thee, goe thy waies thou dost not thinke so often of me as I do of thee, i would (if it pleased God) could I not love thee so well as I do, and then he puts his finger in his eie, and cries".
6) Martin drunke; "a man is drunke and drinkes himself sober ere he stirre".
7) Goate drunke; one who "hath no minde but on Lechery".
8) Fox drunke; "He is craftie drunke, as many of the Dutch men bee, will never bargaine but when they are drunke".
Rather than something to be revered, Nash warns the reader against the 'slavering brewery, that will make you have stinking breathes, and your bodies smell like Brewer's aprons". Yeah, right.
But I can identify myself lurking on that list several times over. Certainly I've been prone to swine-drunkenness in my time. And I know a few martin-drunk types, who may or may not actually be called Martin and must remain nameless for legal reasons.
Which kind of drunk are you? I'm sure you want to tell the world. We've probably all seen the photos on Facebook, anyway...
Incidentally, Thomas Nashe is credited with the first English usage of the word 'dildo', in his soft porn poem 'The Choice of Valentines'. >
