EuroBeery 2012: Denmark v Portugal, Netherlands v Germany

Group B: Denmark v Portugal

After being taken to the cleaners by Germany, Portugal need to pull something out of the bag if they're going to stand any chance in this group. Sadly, their bag is emptier than a ticker's notebook at a Greene King beer festival. They'd like to field one of the feistier Sagres family members but no-one knows where they've got to.

Meanwhile, Denmark are keeping their big guns smothered. Carslberg Elephant sets off down the right wing with a trumpety-trump and takes the crowd by storm. Probably...

Result: Denmark 1 Portugal 0

Group B: Netherlands v Germany

1974, Munich, World Cup Final. Netherlands v Germany. Total Football v total pragmatism.

Germany could not match the first-minute artisanship of Cruyff. Rather than break his legs, they simply marked him out of the game.

Maybe it was a match for the Netherlands to lose rather than Germany to win. Maybe Total Football was thrillingly imperfect. Maybe the deft style of possessional passing football pioneered by Cruyff at Barcelona during his time as manager there is the ultimate expression of Total Football.

Maybe the Dutch should have just knobbled Franz Beckenbauer.

And, here in EuroBeery 2012, history is repeating. De Molen scores from the kick-off as no-one can get close to Hemel & Hel. But then Germany close the play down; Augustiner take care of business with Maximator and Edelstoff.

There's a feeling that whatever the Dutch could conjure up with De Molen, the Germans would just move up another dopplebock and grind out the victory.

Result: Netherlands 1 Germany 2


  1. Couldn't you pick any shitter beers???

  2. Yep, I could have. But as the group stages are about making progress, there's nothing wrong with utilising the mainstays, is there?

    And bear in mind I haven't actually drank that much German and Dutch beer. I mean, that much decent beer. I have had a fair old amount of Oranjeboom and Becks in my time, though...