Best UK Draught (Cask or Keg) Beer

None. I only like Orval

Best UK Bottled or Canned Beer

Which part of the above answer did you not understand?

Best Overseas Draught Beer

Orval

Best Overseas Bottled or Canned Beer

Orval. Like, duh!

Best Overall Beer

Greene King IPA Orval

Best Pumpclip or Label

Best UK Brewery

Ones that try to make something like Orval. Which is none. Even in their wildest dreams

Best Overseas Brewery

Orval

Pub/Bar of the Year

Any that sell Orval. Like this one

Beer Festival of the Year

Uh, any that sold Orval.

Supermarket of the Year

None, coz the one's round here don't sell Orval

Independent Retailer of the Year

Ones that sell Orval (should have been Bellini's but they'd sold out today. Grrr.)

Online Retailer of the Year

Beermerchants.com. They sell Orval. Except when they're out of stock

Best Beer Book or Magazine

Ones with Orval in it. Like this one

Best Beer Blog or Website

Ones about Orval. There hasn't been a better one since this

Best Beer Twitterer

Orval aren't on Twitter, fool

Best Online Brewery presence

Orval

Food and Beer Pairing of the Year

Orval and chips

In 2013 I’d Most Like To…

Drink more Orval

Open Category: You Choose

I choose to drink more Orval


With slight apologies to the Golden Pints Awards 2012. A semi-serious blog about it tomorrow.

Honest. >

Sometimes, even great beer isn't good enough.

The lunchtime pint of Budvar, full of bubbles re-arranging themselves into serried ranks, was satisfying and satiating. But it left me wanting.... something else.

The afternoon pint of Thornbridge Jaipur, poured straight from the cask, was lip-smackingly citric. But it left me wanting... something different.

There's something about the lazy heat of the city, about the kick-off-your-shoes-and-do-sod-all-because-it's-Saturday feeling that makes me want to find a shaded bar with a suntrap patio. And drink the beers that are indelibly imprinted with the sense of summer for me.

Jever. Orval. Saison Dupont. Cantillon.

But those beers are rather adventurous for Derby. The odd bottle of Jever, maybe, but that's about it. We don't even have a decent offie. So, what's a poor, thirsty toper to do?

Take the bus to Belper. To Liquid Treasure.


Julie Wyllie's shop lives up to its name. Superb wines from family-run estates. Unusual liqueurs. And plenty of world-class beers. Truth be told, I don't spend too much time looking over the ample shelves, crammed to the gunwales with locals heroes from Thornbridge, Spire, Amber et al. Because in the tall fridges that fill the shop's left flank I know I will find...


Jever. Orval. Saison Dupont. Cantillon.


It's about an hour and half round bus trip from Derby for me. And it's worth every minute.

And it got me thinking: where are the great offies in the UK? Where can you wander into and come away with a cool Cantillon? Or even a brewer's minicask? They don't seem to be in the cities - I can't think of any in Derby, Nottingham, Sheffield, Manchester, Birmingham - so are there gems tucked away in the burbs?

Because sometimes, great beer isn't enough. It's got to be world-class. And it's got to be on your doorstep. >

This month's Session, "Beer Collectibles & Breweriana", is hosted by Brian Stechschulte at All Over Beer.

I squashed my collecting bug before I turned a teenager. A brief flirtation with stamps, a serious fixation with chocolate bar wrappers and a bizarre fascination with badges gave way to far healthier pursuits. Like failing miserably at cricket. And engineering socially-awkward opportunities to try and see Julie ********'s bra. Apparently, if I'd asked, she'd have shown it to me. And it turns out she knew how to throw a cricket ball too.

So the attraction of saving breweriana has never appealed. Tegestology doesn't tickle my fancy. I do have a giant glass full of bottle tops but that was borne out of habit - flicking tops from one end of the kitchen to the other. I've no idea what's in that glass, never mind it being cross-referenced and photographed.

But, strictly speaking, I do have a collection. It's small but perfectly formed:


The Orval label comes from a lunchtime bottle savoured at the Nouvelle Hostellerie d'Orval in the company of brewery's commercial director, François de Harenne, and the beer polymath Phil Lowry. The Chimay cork was one of several popped later that same day by their export manager, Steve Marangon, in the garden of Auberge de Poteaupré. It was a day like no other in my life. Intelligent company. Industrial brewing sat cheek-by-jowl with meditative surroundings. World-class beers.

Every time I look at these things I can again feel the sun on my back. Taste the cheeses. Recall the tales told. Grin like the Cheshire Cat once more.

To everyone else, it's throwaway stuff. To me, it's a tangible link to the greatest beery day in my life. I'm just glad that I remembered to bring them home. >

Leicester is afforded special status in the Reluctant Scooping scheme of topering. It's where I drank my first doppelbock. My first Dogfish Head. It always offered a heady mix of ye olde traditional pubs and somewhat-leftfield bars. But it's been a couple of years since I was last in town. Does Leicester still love its beer? There was only one way to find out...

The Pub

Casks on offer: 12-ish
Potential scoops: 6-ish
Keg beer on offer: 12-ish?
Potential scoops: 2
Scoops drank: 0
Favourites drank: 1 (Brewdog 77, two pints)

Yes. It really is called The Pub. Before the owners moved across New Walk, their former bar (Out Of The Vaults / Vin IV) often served two beauties by Beowulf - Finn's Hall Porter and Dragon Smoke Stout. They're the beers I'd have plumped for if my eye had been on cask. But I didn't even look at the handpulls. Instead, I fancied something cool and just-so-carbonated as a thirst slaker on this sunny Sunday. Brewdog 77 lager hit the spot. So much so that when alcofrolicchap turned up, I had another pint of it.

The Pub is one of those long, narrow bars that looks and feels cool in an almost-trying-too-hard kind of way. I was content to go sit out in the sun, drink lager and watch the world amble by. I'll revisit their cask offering one day.


The Globe

Casks on offer: 4. Possibly.
Potential scoops: 1
Actual scoops: 0
Favorites drank: 1 (Everards Sunchaser, one pint)

I've always enjoyed visiting this multi-room, often-bustling pub in the heart of the city. Then again, I've always enjoyed picking lint out of my navel and flicking it at people on the bus. I don't come here for the banter by the 'characters' at the bar (read: shouting Sex Pistols lyrics with the emphasis firmly on the last syllable of "Pretty Vacant". I don't come here for a mediocre guest beer (lots of pumpclips of interesting ones on the wall, never seen them on when I've visited). I come here for a damn fine pint of Everards.

Sunchaser was the right side of cool - maybe it was the 'extra cold' version? It certainly felt more-than-just-cellar cold. Great condition, in its branded glass. Good beer, well presented. Whereas alcofrolicchap's Burton Bridge Spring Ale seemed to have sprung itself flat somewhat.


Criterion

Casks on offer: difficult to tell
Potential scoops: ?!?
Keg on offer: six-ish
Actual scoops: 0
Favorites drank: 2: (Punk IPA, one pint; Augustiner Edelstoff, 500ml bottle)

The problem with the Criterion? It's like bumping into an ex-girlfriend; you both drifted apart, you both met someone new, now she's no longer the bubbly bundle of fun you once loved but slightly jaded and world-weary. You want to put your arm round her and chat about the old times but you both know it won't cheer either of you up.

This used to be my favourite pub in the city; interesting casks well kept, odd keg offerings at a time when there wasn't so much variety knocking around as there is today, a chunky bottle menu that became the syllabus for my Belgian beer education (intermediate level). Now the place seems to be quieter, the casks more predictable, the bottles scarcer. Alcofrolic and I enjoyed the last pints of the kegged Punk and some bottled Edelstoff outside by the giddy vista of the ring road. And I felt wistfully bitter...


The Font

Casks on offer: four
Potential scoops: none
Keg on offer: some-ish
Actual scoops: 1 (Stella Black)
Favorites drank: 1 (Stella Artois)

There's only two reasons we visited this bright and breezy student-centric bar. Hand-cut chips. And Stella Black.

The chips were chunky, hot and really potatoey. The Stella Black was a car-crash in a chalice. Worse thing I've had in my mouth since I chewed a verruca. I had to have a pint of, er, 'normal' Stella to get the syrupy gloop taste out of my mouth.

(Now is not the time nor place to discuss why Black is so execrable or why I'm still drinking Stella Artois. That time will be after I've had six pints of the latter one afternoon and feel like mouthing off ).


Swan and Rushes

Casks on offer: about eight
Potential scoops: some
Keg on offer: probably
Actual scoops: 1 (Dupont Monk's Stout)
Favorites drank: 2 (Orval, Cantillon Vigneronne)

One fine day, I will make the Swan and Rushes my first port of call when in Leicester. I will have a game of bar billiards, chew the fat with the bar staff and sip an Orval at a leisurely pace. Today, however, it was the usual last-pub-mad-dash.

An Orval slipped down quicker than a Manchester United striker in the penalty area. I think I asked alcofrolicchap how quick he could drink gueuze. A bottle of Cantillon Vigneronne was procured and drained in short order. That's all the beer I was here for. And well tasty they were, too. Though I did then find the time for a Monk's Stout by Dupont; it seemed a fairly plain-Jane brew, though to be fair my tastebuds had just been wrapped round the back of my ears by the Cantillon.

So here's another pub that seen some better days. It's been on and off the market for years and would really benefit from a period of stability. Having said that, it's got a well-worn-slipper feel about it, comfy and inviting. And the staff are great - knowledgeable, interested, amiable. The barmaid that night, Erica, was keen to try the Vigneronne and happy to chat about geuze. You just don't get that in many other places.

Results

Scoops: 2
Favourites: 7
Verdict: Really Very Reluctant Scooping.
Beer of the day: Orval. Obviously.

There's still plenty of good beer to be found in Leicester. It's just a rather subdued scene. Someone needs to give the place a swift kick up the victuals.

Perhaps a Leicester Tap, anyone...? >

Another day of not-Christmas-shopping. And my heart smitten by one beer only.

Probably the best head of any bottled beer I ever pour; brilliant-white with serried ranks of pin-head bubbles.

An amber warmth that's either a defiant sunset or a glowing coal.

Bitterness, brightness, effortless.

Today's bottle: my very best friend. Orval.

Today's gift: Stuart Howe on Orval. I've not read a better series of posts this year. Or, indeed, in any other year.

Today's picture: my next Orval order

>

Christmas. Tis the season to be jolly. And buy beer. Here's a round-up of the choicest beery offerings from my favourite online sellers.

Beermerchants have a panoply of mixed cases on offer. Their Belgian Beer Lover's case features solid stuff such as Palm, Chimay Rouge and Brugse Zot. A luxury case offers delights such as Boon Marriage Parfait, La Chouffe and Orval. And the Berry Christmas case has fruit-forward beers including Boon Framboise, Fruli Strawberry and Rodenbach Grand Cru.

They also have a rather nifty Chimay presentation tin that crams in a bottle each of red, white and blue plus a glass. And because it's in a tin, it's easy to wrap. Result!

If you're looking to treat yourself, the Connoisseurs case offers some of the finest rare UK brews like Moor Fusion, Kernel Imperial Stout and Hardknott Infra Red alongside "best of the best" of world beers such as Lost Abbey's Gift of the Magi. And there's always their ever-impressive range of rare beers from Denmark and the United States - bear in mind that some of those American brews can't even be bought in some states over there so to have them on sale in the UK is a real coup.

The guys at myBrewerytap have a great mixed case with plenty of dark beers for these cold days. Highlights for me include Dark Star Espresso (one of my favourites), Fyne Ales Highlander and a brace of dark lagers from Freedom and Brewdog. You can 'supersize' the case and add a myBrewerytap T-shirt for a fiver extra. Or why not treat someone to the full enchilada and treat them to the "52-week Beer Club" subscription?

There's also plenty of beery goodness from Manchester brewers Marble. Alongside a mixed case of their regular beers, myBrewerytap have also secured limited stocks of two specials, a US-styled IPA and a stout, both in 75cl bottles with cork closures.

Beers Of Europe have their usual range of specially selected cases, along with a Christmas mix including the likes of Hoggleys Frosty Ferret, Batemans Rosey Nosey and Shepherd Neame Christmas Ale. They have lots of other goodies on their gargantuan shelves - some that caught my eye include the Adnams Handcrafted Ales range and some superb De Molen beers such as Rasputin.

And there's a couple of great-looking gift packs over at Ales By Mail. One's from Meantime including what for me are two of the best large bottled beers on sale in the UK right now - London Porter and IPA - along with two stemmed Meantime glasses. A great way to drink in the New Year!

The other is from Moor, featuring a branded glass, T-shirt and a 660ml bottle of beer - and you get to choose which colour t-shirt and which bottle of beer from the impressive Moor range..

And Ales By Mail are obviously full of Christmas spirit already as they've offered up one of those Moor packs as a festive prize. Just head over to their Facebook page, 'like' it and let them know which beers you'd like to be drinking this Christmas. I'm sure they'll find some way of choosing a worthy winner!


Obvious disclaimer - I'm a grateful recipient of occasional free beer from beermerchants and myBrewerytap. I also like to buy beer from them - yes, Blogger Actually Buys Beer Shocker. >