Dr Seuss, Bertrand Russell and beer dispense

I’ve been a busy toper of late. Busy in the sense of drinking a colossal array of beers and finding no time in between to do much more than nurse the occasional bastard behind the eyes.

The wrap-up of The Session will arrive presently. In the meantime, I’ll share what will be my penultimate-last word on the cask-keg-bottle-can shenanigans.

On occasions, usually lupulin-induced ones, I enjoy a good-old natter with the spirit of Bertrand Russell. Our discussions about metaphysics and epistemology are always illuminating, although it is his searching questions about my preferred method of beer dispense that have shaped the way I drink today.

I’ll leave you with the record of our latest conversation.

Do you like green hops and wort?
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

Would you drink it here or there?
I would drink it here or there.
I would drink it anywhere.
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

Would you drink it from a cask?
Would you drink it from a flask?


I would drink it from a cask.
I would drink it from a flask.
I would drink it here or there.
I would drink it anywhere.
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

Would you drink it from a keg?
Would you drink it on one leg?

I would drink it from a keg.
I would drink it on one leg.
I would drink it here or there.
I would drink it anywhere.
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

Would you drink it from a bottle?
Would you drink it daubed like wattle?

I would drink it from a bottle.
I would drink it daubed like wattle.
I would drink it here or there.
I would drink it anywhere.
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

Would you drink it from a can?
Would you drink it in a van?

I would drink it from a can.
I would drink it in a van.
I would drink it here or there.
I would drink it anywhere.
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

Yes from a cask
Yes from a flask
Yes from a keg.
Yes on one leg.
Yes from a bottle
Yes daubed in wattle
Yes from a can
Yes in a van

I would drink it here or there.
I would drink it anywhere.
I ruddy love it, my mate Bert!
I ruddy love green hops and wort.

3 comments:

  1. The pedant in me has to point out:
    You can't be daubed in wattle, as it's the wattle that gets daubed.
    I have a load of wattle that's in dire need of re-daubing. But I'll have a bottle, cask or keg to keep my spirits from falling. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good point. I've changed 'in' to 'like'. T'internet sub-editing is fun :-)

    ReplyDelete