Beer bloggers: an appeal

I know most of you have a life, but please spare a few minutes to think about the plight of some beer bloggers.

Sometimes they receive unsolicited emails from agencies.

Sometimes they receive three or four a day, dramatically reducing the time they can spend farting about on Facebook researching eighteenth century pale ale recipes.

Sometimes these emails don't result in free bottles of beer, inadequately packaged, that get broken in the post to them.

Sometimes they include invites to an "awesome groundbreaking beer experience evening" sponsored by Pierre van Klomp that happens to be in East London at eight pm on a Tuesday and so excludes provincial types so it must be A FUCKING CONSPIRACY.

Something must be done. I mean, Something Must Be Done.

Thankfully, there's someone with the mettle and spunk to put his best foot forward, open his legs and show his class.

Simon Jockstone has launched this epetition to try and counter the rising tide of nascent Hitleristic intolerance that beer bloggers encounter throughtout their working day. When I say working day, I mean their lunch when the firewall's doused for an hour.

Show your solidarity, brothers and sisters. Get Very Angry Indeed. Never mind the poor PR sod who's mailing blind to anyone with a pulse and a blog in the vain hope that they'll snag some AVE. They've interrupted precious free wifi whilst the said blogger dragged out the dregs of the double tripel decaf skinny macchiato that the previous merchant banker left behind.

Your tears are my tears. Sign it now. Together, we can make a difference...


  1. The real victims in this terrible situation -- the real victims -- are the people forced to read sometimes as many as four Tweets a week complaining in mild terms about bad PR.

    They are very much an oppressed minority, victims of beer bloggers who, increasingly, demonstrate an utter ruthlessness when it comes to dealing with dissent from the party line.

    For the last few years, the dissenters' only method of protest has been passive-aggressive sarcasm, but there are signs that the beer bloggers may be cracking down on even that.

    The latest rumours from the blogoshire suggest that Simon Jockstone has been put under house arrest. When he is silenced, who will speak up, in veiled, ironic terms, for the victims of oppression by beer bloggers?

    A petition is being developed but, in the meantime, the UN are to discuss this issue on Tuesday, with sanctions against beer bloggers, for the first time, a real possibility.

  2. Leadership. THat is what people say about you, Scoopster. You carry in the heavy bags of leadership and full the pantry... of leadership.

    I signed asserting my right to do so as a son of emigrants with residual rights. Take that Crown!!!