For the love of thirty-six oranges

Have you heard the one about the Dutch brewery with the German-sounding name that used leggy South Africans to get up the noses of a global brewer famous for its American and Belgian brands? No? Have you been comatose for the last 24 hours?

Hats off to Bavaria, the Dutch brewers, who pulled off yet another guerrilla marketing wheeze by having thirty-six women ditch their Danish shirts and reveal their almost-wholly-unbranded 'Dutch Dresses'. And thanks to Robbie "Mr. Naive" Earle for allegedly dipping into his own pocket to the sum of almost four grand to buy the face-value tickets that somehow found their way into the hands of the orange-clad lovelies.

There are, of course, many questions left unanswered. Why did Robbie Earle buy so many tickets and, allegedly, aim to buy many more for future games? How can FIFA claim that the orange dresses, with no discernible logo, are "recognisable items associated directly with the brewery in question"? What have Bavaria got against AB Bev, given that they've pulled this kind of stunt before in 2006? Surely not the brewery equivalent of sour grapes after InBev squealed over the 2007 Dutch beer price-fixing scandal, resulting in InBev walking and Bavaria being fined? Why didn't FIFA just eject the 'advertising mules', as one English newspaper called them, given that they shouldn't have been using the tickets? Is it because of the dangerous precedent it would set? What would Jack Warner, the FIFA vice-president previously embroiled in a ticket sales scandal, make of it all?

Somewhere in here, there's a point to be made about beer marketing.I think it's this; exclusivity deals are bound to make a brewery look like an arse at some point. Whether it's the beer you can buy in a stadium or a sponsorship deal for an event, the bigger and more obnoxious the deal, the harder and funnier they can be made to prat-fall. If only by three dozen attractive women in tight dresses.

PS - for the funniest take on the whole caboodle, you need read only one article. As always, it's the Daily Mash