Kelly 'Tigger' Ryan

One of those brewer guys but like no other. The first time I spent a brewday with Kelly, he bounced around from mashtun to laboratory to hop store and back again. His enthusiasm for both the art and science of brewing is legendary.

He's off to New Zealand, leaving a Tigger-shaped hole in the English brewing industry.

For all the beers we've shared, for all the banter exchanged, here's to you, Kel.


And if if you want to know why he's really called Tigger, with apologies to A A Milne but no apologies for length, read on....








Jim woke up suddenly in the middle of the night and listened. Then he got out of bed, and lit his candle, and stumped across the room to see if anybody was trying to get into his hop-cupboard, and they weren't, so he stumped back again, blew out his candle, and got into bed. Then he heard the noise again.

"GiddayGiddayGidday!," said Whatever-it-was, and Jim found that he wasn't asleep after all.

"What can it be?" he thought. He got out of bed and opened his front door.

"I'm Jim," said Jim.

"I'm Tigger," said Kelly.

"Oh!" said Jim, for he had never seen a brewer like this before. " Do Thornbridge know about you?"

"Of course they do," said Tigger.

"Well," said Jim, "it's the middle of the night, which is a good time for going to sleep. And tomorrow morning we'll have some honey for breakfast. Do Tiggers like to brew with honey?"

"They like to brew with everything," said Tigger cheerfully.

"Then if they like going to sleep on the floor, I'll go back to bed," said Jim, "and we'll brew things in the morning. Good night." And he got back into bed and went fast asleep.

When he awoke in the morning, the first thing he saw was Tigger, in his gummies, sitting in front of the mash tun. Covered in honey. Tigger had been brewing with it.

Jim suggested that he could try some hopcorns.

"Thank you, Jim," said Tigger, "because hopcorns is really what Tiggers like best."

So after breakfast they went round to see Farmer Farham, and Jim explained as they went that Farmer Farham was a Very Busy Man who didn't like bouncing, and asked Tigger not to be too Bouncy
just at first.

And Tigger, who had been hiding behind the copper and jumping out on Jim's shadow when it wasn't looking, said that Tiggers were only bouncy before breakfast, and that as soon as they had had a few hopcorns they became Quiet and Refined. So by-and-by they knocked at the door of Farmer Farham’s house.

"Hallo, Jim," said Farmer Farham.

"Hallo, Farmer Farham. This is Tigger. He likes hopcorns," said Jim,
"so that's what we've come for." Farmer Farham pushed a bowl of hopcorns towards Tigger, and said, "Help yourself!"

But Tigger said nothing because his mouth was full of hopcorns....

After a long munching noise he said:

"Awwwww…Sweeeeet…True!"

Farmer Farham, who was rather glad that Tiggers like hopcorns, said,
"What about caraway?"

"Caraway," said Tigger, "is what Tiggers like best."

"Then lets go along and see Gardener de Wynter," said Farmer Farham.

So the three of them went; and after they had walked and walked and walked, they came to the part of the estate where Gardener de Wynter was.

"Hallo, Gardener de Wynter!" said Jim. "This is Tigger."

"What is?" said Gardener de Wynter.

"This," explained Jim and Farmer Farham together, and Tigger
smiled his happiest smile and said nothing.

Gardener de Wynter led the way to the most caraway-looking patch of
caraway that ever was, and waved a glove at it.

"A little patch I was keeping for my birthday," he said; " but, after all, what are birthdays? Here to-day and gone to-morrow. Help yourself, Tigger."

Tigger thanked him and he took a large mouthful, and he gave a large
crunch.

"Good on ya, mate!" said Tigger.

Jim called to Tigger.

"Come along and we'll go and see Stef. He's sure to have lots more breakfast for you."

Jim was thinking of a poem. And when he had thought of it he began:

What shall we do with our bouncy Tigger?
If he brews with everything our brewhouse should be bigger.
He loves to use honey and hopcorns and caraway
Because of how aromas, flavours and tastes overlay
And all the good things which a brewer needs
Like quality malt and Tahitian lime leaves

At last they came in sight of Stef's house. Tigger rushed up to him.

"Oh, there you are, Tigger!" said Stef. "I knew you'd be somewhere."

"I've been finding things," said Tigger importantly. "I've found a Jim and a Farmer Farham and an Gardener de Wynter, but I can't find any proper breakfast."

"Don't you know what Tiggers like?" asked Jim.

"I expect if I thought very hard I should," said Stef, "but I thought Tigger knew."

"I do," said Tigger. "Everything there is in the brewing world
like honey and hopcorns and - what were those crunchy things
called?"

"Caraway."

"Yes, and those."

"Oh, well then," said Jim, "Stef can give you some breakfast."

So they went into Stef's house, and there on the table was a pint of Fermented Extract of Malt.

Tigger came closer, and he leant over the back of Stef's chair, and suddenly he put out his tongue, and took one large golollop. The pint of Fermented Extract of Malt had gone.

Tigger looked up at the ceiling, and closed his eyes, and his tongue went round and round his chops, in case he had left any outside, and a peaceful smile came over his face as he said…

"So that's what Tiggers like best!"

3 comments:

  1. Simon.

    You never feel to make me wee my pants with glee! A cracking yarn as always, will make it my life mission to devleop and market hopcorns :)

    Thanks for all the amazing times supping beer at the Coach and elsewhere. Always love the over beer (or over brewing) banter and imbibing.

    Gonna miss ya!

    Cheers mate,

    Kelly

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just re-read my comment... "feel" was meant to read "fail"

    I failed...

    Kelly

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can confirm that I've never felt you and made your pants wet with glee.

    ReplyDelete