It's not all about the recipe. Is it?

I'm drinking a beer. I have drank this beer many times. It's a fridge regular at Scoop Towers. It's available in supermarkets and chain restaurants. Which is why I drink it often.

Until sixty seconds ago, I had no idea what exactly went into it. I could guess. 

But, you know what? To me, it doesn't matter.

I now know it's full of two-row, Hallertauer Mittelfrueh, Vanguard and Cascade. 33 IBU. 170 kcal.

Big diff. It tasted great before that knowledge; it tastes the same great right now.

Some beers are defined by an obvious malt bill, hop addition or yeast strain. It's good to know in those cases; you like the effect, you can find more beers that express themselves in a similar way. Or run an avoidance play on them.

For the rest; does it really matter? 

Wouldn't you rather have the mystery?

For five nights only...

"I checked the time, it was almost time..."

Because I am eye-bleedingly bored and need a break.

It's time for the SAS stun grenade of sarcasm to be tossed casually through the embassy window of complacency.

For the coiled turd of irreverence to be deposited onto the astrakhan carpet of opinion.

For the dropped stitch in beer's rich tapestry to fray again.

For five nights only, starting tonight.

Scoop's back. And he's wearing a knitted merkin.

"I should question, not ignore"

The Craft Beer Manifesto

For the record.

If it walks like a duck, swims like a duck, quacks and shags and scaups like a duck, then it's a duck.

Craft beer is where you find it. Where you find it depends on how you define it.

How you define it? That's your call.

There will never - never - be agreement in the UK as to what 'craft beer' really means.

So let's just drink good beer and have some fun.

The Craft Beer Manifesto started on Twitter one bored morning when I was achingly tired by the excess PR of certain mediocre brewers. You may interpret this manifesto as having a pop at particular organisations and individuals. I couldn't possibly comment.

Because if it sounds like a dick, acts like a dick, tweets and blogs and brews like a dick, then it's a dick.


THE CRAFT BEER MANIFESTO.


1: Only use distilled otter's tears

2: Use only barley that's been warmed by the breath of kindly owls

3: Craft beer cares, so only use hops that have been flown halfway around the world

4: You can have it any colour you like, as long as it's not brown. Unless its an Indian Brown Ale

5: Beards allowed only if they're ironic

6: It's not "inconsistent", it's "experimental"

7: It's not "hiding faults", it's "barrel-ageing"

8: It's not "gone off", it's "challenging preconceptions of sour beer"

9: Ensure that the branding costs more than the brewhouse

10: Collaborate every month with an international brewer, a blogger, a celebrity & a musician

11: There are only seven ingredients in Craft Beer: hops, malt, water, yeast, YouTube, Twitter & Facebook

12: Our over-riding mantra - Craft Beer Is AWESOME !!! \m/\m/ !!!