The Tipping Point
We've all been there. It's just usually we don't know at the time.
There's a point in a toper's day when you know you've had a fair few beers. It's just before you catch the eye of your mates who are staring at you, wondering why you're shouting / dancing / have fallen asleep and woken with a jolt. It's way before you buy a kebab from the place where a recently-met couple are copulating by the fruit machine.
Perhaps it's more of a home-drinking thing. Where you still have the time and the space to listen to your mis-firing synapses. When the fridge is empty and you have to peruse your beer collection for the next willing victim. How you're still cognisent and beer-snobby enough to not open a beer that's at the wrong temperature. What do you chose? Why do you still feel drawn to that 750 of shit-kickingly good beer?
Who's with me? Who knows where this is heading?
Your hand hovers over a bottle. You're calculating ABV, volume, consumption time. You're wondering what if... what if I drink it, what will I end up drinking next? Will I end up opening something stupidly good and ruining it? Will I just pass out on the sofa? Am I confusing myself with someone who actually gives a shit?
And so you open the bottle. You twist the cage, tempt the cork up, splash a little into a glass. And you know. This was your tipping point. Tomorrow, you will feel like a shit sandwich that's been on a back-burner. Your internal organs will try and join an awkwardly-arranged queue to demonstrate against you. But you have to remember...
.. you knew your tipping point. You knew that from thereon in, the only direction your evening would take would be one that's shuddering towards hell in a hardcart.
But you didn't care. Because you have a world-class beer in your hands.
I'm right there, right now. And for tomorrow's hangover, I can only be eternally grateful. The greatest thing about drinking beyond your tipping point? Having the full knowledge that it's a top-quality beer that took you over there.
There's a point in a toper's day when you know you've had a fair few beers. It's just before you catch the eye of your mates who are staring at you, wondering why you're shouting / dancing / have fallen asleep and woken with a jolt. It's way before you buy a kebab from the place where a recently-met couple are copulating by the fruit machine.
Perhaps it's more of a home-drinking thing. Where you still have the time and the space to listen to your mis-firing synapses. When the fridge is empty and you have to peruse your beer collection for the next willing victim. How you're still cognisent and beer-snobby enough to not open a beer that's at the wrong temperature. What do you chose? Why do you still feel drawn to that 750 of shit-kickingly good beer?
Who's with me? Who knows where this is heading?
Your hand hovers over a bottle. You're calculating ABV, volume, consumption time. You're wondering what if... what if I drink it, what will I end up drinking next? Will I end up opening something stupidly good and ruining it? Will I just pass out on the sofa? Am I confusing myself with someone who actually gives a shit?
And so you open the bottle. You twist the cage, tempt the cork up, splash a little into a glass. And you know. This was your tipping point. Tomorrow, you will feel like a shit sandwich that's been on a back-burner. Your internal organs will try and join an awkwardly-arranged queue to demonstrate against you. But you have to remember...
.. you knew your tipping point. You knew that from thereon in, the only direction your evening would take would be one that's shuddering towards hell in a hardcart.
But you didn't care. Because you have a world-class beer in your hands.
I'm right there, right now. And for tomorrow's hangover, I can only be eternally grateful. The greatest thing about drinking beyond your tipping point? Having the full knowledge that it's a top-quality beer that took you over there.
4 comments: